It Gets Worse

Upon my return, I found out that Mr. Collins, the self verified suck-up, called me while I was gone. I cannot believe the nerve of this foolish inexperienced young man to leave me such a pompous message defining how relieved he is not to have married my Lizzie and telling me how to handle my family, and for this, I will never talk to him again unless I absolutely have to. To make matters worse, Mr. Gardiner called me a few days after my return home to tell me he has found the two dimmest beings on earth, Lydia and Wickham, hiding out in a motel, and not married (with no original intention to be). I am also filled with the greatest dread to the fact that I fear my brother has paid Mr. Wickham’s debts in order to get him to marry my flaw filled, unaccomplished daughter. I know I will owe Mr. Gardener for the rest of my life.